MargitDesdemona ❤

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She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans

bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

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cracks me up every time

(via dutchster)

cybuggin:

one time i was swimming in a spring in florida and everybody started screaming and getting out of the water and i was like haha losers aint nothing in this water and so i climbed up on a rock to sit, but then the rock started moving and thats the story of the time i rode a manatee

(Source: charlottelabouff, via dutchster)

madehimsaycomfychairs:

thebeauty-isa-beast:

curvellas:

my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.

My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my  eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.

this is my favorite post on tumblr currently

(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

deletes:

I have the talent of getting tired without doing nothing

(via mildbitch)

freshprlncess:

food-vacuum:

how does phone sex end?

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(Source: foodvacuum, via manda)

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

I BROKE MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON HELP ME

have you tried turning it off and back on again

I HIT IT REALLY HARD AND STILL HASN’T TURNED OFF

there is no need to shout ma’am. have you tried turning it off and back on

I AM NOT SHOUTING

IT DOESN’T TURN OFF

ma’am, ma’am, have you tried turning it on & off again

(via dutchster)

caseyanthonyofficial:

When your girlfriend tries to hold your hand before marriage

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(via dutchster)

unbans:

It could be my only life pleasure :

sleep,pizza,sex - pizza,sex,sleep.

(via dutchster)